Expectations

Photo Credit: {this is glamourous}

Do you ever let your imagination run wild and then end up disappointed that reality doesn't match up to your dreams? I have this problem often. I realized this a year or so ago and ever since have been attempting to suppress my dreams of perfection to the back of my head, but they still pop up and push their way through. My primary source of fanciful dreams? Holidays.

Perhaps not Christmas, because as I've previously wrote, my Christmas traditions (usually) leave me with nothing to expect. Which is a good thing. But these open ended holidays, mainly New Year's and Valentine's day, are the ones that trouble me the most. Their possibilities are endless and the way that the media, magazines, and/or artistic bloggers hype them, I have no choice but to expect for events to pan out similarly to their ideals. Does this make sense?

For example, think of the ideal New Year's bash. Most women are wearing sparkling cocktail dresses, hair coiffed perfectly, in the most seductive of heels, donning fun party hats or glasses, while sipping champagne. Am I right? The icing on the cake of this fantasy is the gorgeous and devoted guy on her arm, simultaneously ready to get a little crazy and sweep her off her feet in a new year's kiss. When these realities don't work out for me, (which is, EVERY YEAR OF MY LIFE) I can't help but be disappointed. Because I mean, this is reality right? This is what we expect to happen!

And here we are, on the eve of Valentine's day, the events of the past year are looming on my doorstep, and I'm afraid that tomorrow they will rule my day. My expectations of a sweet date, a pretty dress, and maybe a romantic dessert were shattered one year ago, and they will be shattered again tomorrow. I can't help but think of this day and connect it with all that I can't have, which then ruins all that I can have: delicious chocolates, cute cards, and fun with friends.

I am trying really hard to accept what I can and can't have, while simultaneously trying to weasel some romance out of the dregs of my life.